The last few months have been a bit weird. I’ve struggled a lot with the weight loss, a lot with my concentration and motivation. I’ve been emotionally uneasy and feel as though that fluctuates as easily as my weight. Things were spiraling out of control quickly. Time to talk to mama.
There is nothing that kicks your ass quite like a conversation with your mom. Of course…I’m biased, but my mom is built for motivational conversations. She said something to me that shocked me and solved so many problems. “You have got to start being selfish with your health. I understand you give and give and give, and you worry about what everyone else is doing. But you have to worry about you at some point.”
After that I started focusing a lot on what I was eating, when and how much I was working out, along with what I was cooking, what I was buying to snack on. My entire focus changed. It’s amazing how selfish you need to be at times. How often you have to say “no” when you want to say “yes”. You’re going to hurt peoples feelings and create uneasy situations by doing things that are good for you. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s really hard to say “no” sometimes. You want to hang out, have a good time, not stress when you’re with your friends. If your friends aren’t worried about what they’re putting in their mouth, why should you? The truth is that you should. It shouldn’t consume you, but it should be there.
On this path to selfishness…I realized that there was something I wanted to do. I was intimidated, scared, felt out of place, ignorant. But I was getting stronger, I was lifting more, and the thought of competing drove me crazy. It was something I started to crave, which drove me even more. And then it happened.
A buddy of mine wanted me to come watch a strongman competition at the end of the month. As sad as I was I couldn’t make it I realized that maybe, just maybe, I could do that? I mean…right? So I say to my buddy “I’d love to do this.” She says “You totally could. They’re just flipping tires and deadlifting cars.” She said this sarcastically of course because the strongman competition is no joke. So…I decided yes, yes I can.
I’m now keeping in mind when I train that this time next year I want to enter this strongman competition. I don’t care about winning, I just want to complete it. This is the first real goal I’ve set that hasn’t been weight loss related. So…here we go folks. Go heavy or go home.