It’s life folks.

I have a lot of people ask me what ‘clicked’ that made weight loss and fitness possible for me this time around. I normally chalked it up to “it’s time.” But after someone reached out to me needing help, a more viable answer, something to hold on to. So I dug a little deeper and found the real reason why, for me, this has been possible.

I have struggled with weight a lot in my life. 20 lbs, 50 lbs, 100 lbs over. Various times, sometimes I cared…other times, I didn’t. That’s the truth. I always viewed it as this big challenge that required so much more strength and thought, it was a COMPLETELY different mindset than my daily one, and once that mindset gave out the pounds game back on.

I’ve been through some shit in my life. Not complaining, made me who I am and all of that cliché stuff. My mom? Been through more. And on top of everything is now dealing with displacement from a fire. I search relentlessly for advice to give her and my stepdad. I don’t like to give advice to people unless I have been through that or something similar. I have never had to go through what they’re going through, and so I’m lost for words. Until I realized that I have weight loss advice to give one of my readers that asked, and maybe…my parents can take something from it too.

I have always been a believer that it’s not what happens to you that matters as much as how you handle it. I am not saying that is the case for 100% of situations, some things are much too tragic. But in most situations I remember who I am and what’s important to me in my core…

Loyalty. Stay loyal to yourself. Stay loyal to people who have always been there, that support you. You do not have to maintain loyalty to people you question constantly. Self-loyalty is the most important. Don’t let yourself down, be nice to you. You deserve it. Make promises to yourself and keep them. You are just as important as other people you make promises to.

Honesty. Obviously. Don’t be afraid of it. If you have a bad day, you’ve stuffed your face with chocolate, you had too many glasses of wine, you picked chips instead of apples…own it. Be honest about it, to yourself. Don’t make excuses. Yep, you made that choice. You don’t have to make it again. Or if you, make it in 90 days. Not tomorrow.

Compassion. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. As much as I don’t want that, I also don’t want people to look at me in disgust. I know how heavy I am, I’m responsible for being this way, but I’m not a disgusting human being. I have a problem with putting food down and I’m learning to love my body and make it a priority. So your “She needs to lay off the pizza” looks don’t help. So what’s in the middle of pity and disgust? Compassion. Feel this for people around you. You don’t need to understand how or why they’re going through whatever situation they are, you just need to show them a little compassion when they need it. Show yourself the same when you’re having a rough day.

Perseverance. Life sucks so bad some times. And you’re never going to get to a period where at least a few things don’t suck at any given point. It could be something small, something catastrophic. Put your head down and keep going. If you let something stop you then that event becomes “What ruined my life.” Wouldn’t it be better to be “What I went through, and here I am?” Granted, there are unspeakable things that this does not apply to. But a lot of what life throws at you…you should throw right back.

Realism. Last one, and one of the most important. It is so important to be realistic in all situations. Really sit down and think about how this should play out. Yeah, you’re going to have “cheat days”. You’re not going to feel like going to the gym. Something is going to happen and you’re going to stress eat at least one more time in your life. You’re going to get sad at some point, feel down. That’s OKAY. PLEASE BELIEVE THAT IT’S OKAY. You are human. That’s all, just a human with feelings and emotions and thoughts and habits. Don’t beat yourself up over nothing. As long as you remain in overall control, a slip up is not the end of your world. Don’t ever lose sight of what matters. You matter. Your family and friends matter. Be realistic about your situation…fantasy is a hard thing to wrap your hands around.

I realized that things that are important to me in my every day life, are also important to me in weight loss and the reason I have been successful this time around. So to my mom, while I can’t give you advice from an honest place because I’ve never been there…I can give advice about something completely different in the hopes you gain something from it. You’re my biggest supporter, my greatest fan, and have championed me my whole life. I hope that this gives you a little motivation and encouragement because you are loved beyond belief.